Eight years ago, I lost over 25 pounds on a Weight Watchers plan. That may not sound like all that much in and of itself, but on a body that’s only 4 feet 8 inches tall, it’s pretty significant. And it’s a lot of work to keep it from coming back. As 2012 began, I had to confront the fact that I haven’t been doing that work very well.
I’ve been fighting the knowledge for some time that it’s not working any more, but it was confirmed a couple of weeks ago when I had my first appointment with a new primary-care physician; on the BMI (body-mass index) scale, I’m at 32, which means that in clinical terms, I am obese. Is it obvious? (You don’t have to answer that. Actually, please don’t answer that.)
My eating habits aren’t as good as they were when I was doing Weight Watchers and taking my maintenance seriously, but they’re not terrible; I’ve mostly gotten lazy and inattentive to the food choices I’m making. And speaking of lazy, what’s truly undone me is the lack of regular exercise for close to two years. When Gypsy died, I no longer had my prompt to get out and walk twice a day, but dislocating my shoulder six months later really derailed me. Two dislocations, shoulder surgery, and getting to full recovery put me out of commission for close to a year. However, it’s been well over half a year since I could truly claim that as an excuse–and it’s not like it affected my legs. I still could have been walking.
My last medical checkups were more than a wake-up call; they were a slap in the face. I’m getting back to work on this now, but it’s definitely work, especially the exercise. It does help that I have company at home, though; Tall Paul is also trying to get healthier, and we’re supporting each other. Technology is also supporting both of us–we’ve both put pedometer (free version) and food-tracking apps on our iPhones, and we’re using them daily. We’re recording our food intake and making time for walking a few days a week (Tall Paul’s also doing some running, I do not run). I know from my WW experience that food tracking works, and as an accountant, I understand working with a budget…but my calculated daily budget of just 1153 calories (based on current weight, height, age, goal weight, and a plan to lose a reasonable one pound per week) is often intimidating at this early stage, especially since I’m trying not to fall back on some of the “tricks” I learned in WW. Part of my goal this time is to do this eating real foods in appropriate portions and not resorting to a lot of specialty diet-brand stuff.
I hope it will become less intimidating after a few weeks of this. I’d forgotten how enlightening it feels to know about what you’re consuming and make smarter eating decisions based on it, and I hope I’ll soon be enjoying challenging myself by walking farther and faster (I’m not there yet). But I need to keep my brain wrapped around the idea that this is for the long haul, because at some point I let that slide.
I’ve initially set a weight goal for myself that’s still in the “overweight” BMI range; if I can achieve that, I’ll probably set a new one. Or I may not, if I feel like I’ve reached a level I can maintain fairly easily. But in all honesty, as long as my vital numbers are improved, I think I can live with a little “overweight,” especially at this stage of my life–I kind of like having some curves now. But “obese” is difficult for me to accept, and I’m doing this so I won’t have to accept it. I hope it works.
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