Mother’s Day without Mother?

Three generation family on sofa, smiling, 
portraitDue to certain oddities of the calendar and the custody schedule, it seems that more often than not, my husband’s kids have been with him on Father’s Day…and on Mother’s Day. I feel a little strange about that. In the nearly four years I’ve been married to their father, I’ve tried my best not to step on the the toes of my stepchildren’s mother, and I’m ambivalent about whether I expect or want any special attention from the kids on Mother’s Day – I don’t really feel entitled to it. I love my stepchildren – they’re with their father and me two nights a week and every other weekend and are a huge part of my life, and I’d like to believe they feel the same way about me. But we all know I’m only “like a mother” to them, and it doesn’t seem right to expect the treatment due to the person who is their mother on Mother’s Day.

Then again, I don’t really get much of that treatment from my own son on Mother’s Day either, and the fact that he’s grown and living three thousand miles away is only part of the reason why. I’m actually pretty satisfied that my son appreciates me year-round, and while I’m happy to get a phone call or instant message from him wishing me a Happy Mother’s Day, I won’t be wounded if it doesn’t happen. (I’ll probably hear from him a day or two later, in any case.) Like author Anne Lamott, I didn’t raise my son to celebrate Mother’s Day…

…You can read more of my thoughts on “Mother’s Day without Mother? Meh” at the Los Angeles Moms Blog

For more thoughts on this topic (expressed far better than my own), please read Beth Kephart‘s Mother’s Day post and Morningside Mom‘s reflection on “(her) mother’s day.

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