My “memorial” post about Gypsy went up yesterday (and her photo has become a fixture on the blog sidebar). I tried not to make it too much of a downer, but I wanted to do two things with it. I wanted to explain my bond with her, and I wanted to show what led to our difficult decision to have her put to sleep; I hope I accomplished them both. (But I won’t nag you to read it if you’re not comfortable with the subject.) We’re slowly adjusting to the change in our daily routines now that she’s not part of them, but it still feels weird. After eleven-plus years, I think that’s to be expected, though.

We have decided that we won’t seriously consider getting another pet before this fall at the earliest, since we’ve got those summer trips to the East Coast and Comic-Con planned. Notice I said “pet,” not “dog.” A dog is our first choice, but given the amount of time we have to be away from home, perhaps this isn’t the best time of our lives to have one. We may think about “going to the dark side,” as my son put it – that is, becoming the servants of a cat (you own a dog, but a cat owns you). It would have to be a pretty dog-like cat, though…

Thanks again to everyone who has offered their kind thoughts and condolences.

Getting back to the “whiny aside” in this week’s Sunday Salon, because I clearly need to do some more “thinking out loud” about it: I’m definitely having mixed feelings about having committed so quickly to BlogHer’10…way before the Book Blogger Convention was much more than a nebulous concept. Sometimes my compulsion to get things squared away quickly comes around to bite me.

I think tying the BBCon into BEA was a great idea, and will probably serve both events very well. But BBCon/BEA and BlogHer’10 are two months apart and being held in the same city, so I strongly suspect that for most book-oriented bloggers it will come to a choice, and they won’t make the same choice I did – especially if, like for me, there’s long-distance travel involved. It’s enough to make me think about selling my ticket for BlogHer (which IS possible, but getting back my room deposit isn’t) and signing on for the BBCon instead…but when it comes down to it, I suspect I won’t do that.

I truly hate to miss out on the Book Blogger Con, but I’m actually OK with not going to BEA.* BEA is a publishing-industry event, not a public one – and although bloggers can attend as press, I don’t feel that I’m part of the industry or that my blog is a “media outlet.” While I’d like to be, as Amy recently put it, “fully immersed in the bookish community,” it’s just not realistic for me. I’m a reader, and while I’m here to talk about books I read and the thoughts they inspire, promotion of particular books is at my own discretion (usually).

Granted, the behind-the-scenes stuff is undoubtedly interesting, and the opportunity to meet authors in person is certainly exciting. And then there’s the undeniable appeal of acquiring lots galleys and books. Besides, the BBCon itself only lasts for one day, so it certainly makes more sense to make a 3000-mile trip for the combination of BEA and the Con (although that’s probably less of an issue for those living closer to New York City).

*Feel free to quote me on that when I do an about-face on it at some point in the future!

Meanwhile, I’m not giving up (yet!) on trying to get book bloggers to BlogHer’10, whether we get that Room of (Y)our Own or not! (BTW, thanks to everyone who’s already voted up that ROYO proposal on BlogHer.com!)
As far as content goes, the wider range of programming topics and sessions at BlogHer appeals to me. I think that it comes down to a question of what I want to get out of the conference itself, and what BlogHer offers seems to fit with my goals as a blogger.

Still, here’s what’s REALLY at the root of all this second-guessing: my own personal insecurities, and uncertainty about where and how I fit into the blogging community – particularly when it crosses into the off-line world. Falling off the radar, being left on the sidelines, being in the wrong place at the wrong time – it all comes down to social anxiety, in one way or another.