The following was originally published on the LA Moms Blog by my friend, the very funny Anna Lefler. I thought it might make a good meme, and she has graciously allowed me to turn it into one – thanks, Anna!
Here’s how it will work:
Copy and paste this whole thing into your blog (or an e-mail, if that’s how you roll), and add one or two of your own “you might be a mother” thoughts at the end. Please identify your additions! Then post or e-mail, encouraging your readers to make their own additions and keep it circulating.
No tagging unless you really want to – this meme is free for the taking, but a link back to the blog where you found it would be very welcome!
If you’ve ever lusted in your heart after another woman’s European umbrella stroller…you might be a mother.
If you’ve ever excused yourself from an adult gathering to go “winkle,”…you might be a mother.
If you’ve ever gone on a date night and spent the whole evening talking about your children…you might be a mother.
If you’ve ever given a fifth of scotch and your therapist’s business card as a baby-shower gift…you might be a mother.
If you’ve ever snuggled with one of your child’s stuffed animals in a hotel room when you had to travel alone…you might be a mother.
If you’ve ever driven past McDonald’s and told your children that they’re “out” of hamburgers and fries…again…you might be a mother.
If you’ve ever changed a squirming toddler’s diaper in midair rather than touch anything in a nasty roadside bathroom…you might be a mother.
If you’ve ever spent your lunchtime explaining to your friend how you would handle the bratty kid at the next table…you might be a mother.
If you’ve ever seen a creepy stranger hovering around a public playground and known, in that moment, that you could kill a man with your bare hands…you might be a mother.
If it takes you three hours to prepare for a two-hour trip to the beach…you might be a mother.
If you are the only person in your home who knows the location of swim goggles, hydrogen peroxide and piano recital music…you might be a mother.
If you’ve ever secretly gloated when your frightened child ran to you for comfort rather than to his father…you might be a mother.
If you’ve ever stayed up at night when you could barely keep your eyes open to write a note from the Tooth Fairy in secret fairy code…you might be a mother.
If silence in your home fills you with happiness – followed immediately by dread…you might be a mother.
If you’ve ever been so desperate to get your child to stop crying on a long car trip that you’ve offered her all the cash in your wallet…you might be a mother.
If you’ve ever had your child blow his nose into a tissue, then found yourself using the same tissue on your nose five minutes later…you might be a mother.
If you’ve ever reached across the table without thinking and wiped your husband’s mouth with your napkin…you might be a mother.
If you think your man is at his sexiest when he takes the children on a bike ride so you can have a couple of hours for yourself…you might be a mother.
If you’ve ever been startled from a deep sleep and exclaimed, “Goodnight, moon!”…you might be a mother.
If you’ve ever grudgingly admitted that your mother knew a few things after all…you might be a mother.
[With apologies – and much admiration and respect – to Mr. Jeff Foxworthy.]
If you find yourself picking up after people you don’t even know…you might be a mother.
If you dole out cold medicine and tissues at the first sound of someone’s sniffle…you might be a mother. (Bonus points if you check for a fever via the hand-on-forehead method.)
If you make your family members change their clothes because YOU’RE too hot or too cold…you might be a mother.
Your turn! Copy, paste, add your own, and pass it on via blog or e-mail – and please leave me a comment if you decide to play!