I’m heading down an editorial path in a political direction today, so I thought I’d warn you first – and if it’s not your thing, the mood will probably be a little lighter during the next few days, since Book Blogger Appreciation Week starts tomorrow!
The recent selection of Sarah Palin as the Republican vice-presidential candidate has stirred up a lot of talk, and as might be expected, some of it’s focused on her position regarding legal abortion – the “pro-life/pro-choice” question. It’s one that seems to be particularly relevant for her personally – she has five children of various ages, including a developmentally-disabled infant and a pregnant 17-year-old daughter – and she has, in both actions and words, declared herself on the “pro-life” side of the debate, where “pro-life” is defined as “against abortion” in nearly all circumstances.
I’ve always been pretty open about that fact that I was a pregnant, unmarried, nineteen-year-old college student. My boyfriend of nearly a year and a half was the father, and we had already talked many times about getting married after we finished college – this moved the date up a couple of years. My parents made room for us in their house (I was still living there anyway), helped us stay on track to finish our university degrees, and provided assistance with childcare and other matters of daily life until we were ready to get out on our own.
This happened eleven years after abortion was made legal, and almost 25 years later, I’m sometimes amazed that there’s still debate about that issue, and that its status remains precarious. While I don’t think I would have gone that route even if my circumstances had been different – I’ve always thought I would have most likely given the baby up for adoption, because in no way was I prepared to be a single parent at that stage of my life – I have always appreciated that a legal, safe abortion was an option for me. To me, that’s what being “pro-choice” really means – not necessarily that you choose to abort a pregnancy, but that you accept and respect that it is one possible response to a pregnancy.
You could choose to abort. You could choose to carry. You could choose to have and raise the baby, alone or with a partner. You could choose to give a baby you’re unprepared to raise to a family in better circumstances. There’s a range of choices, and in making them, there’s a lot to be considered. (For an even wider view of matters that fall under the “choice” umbrella, please see this post on Viva la Feminista and a review of the essay anthology Choice at Book Addiction.)
A long-popular “pro-life” bumper sticker says “It’s a child, not a choice.” Yes, it is. And because it is, the decisions concerning it need to consider things well beyond the months of pregnancy – long-term issues affecting the life of that child, from the moment it arrives and onward. I think that being truly “pro-life” means concern for the life of that child, taking into account the parent’s ability to support and care for him or her at the most basic level – to provide a healthy and safe environment, to feed and nurture, to educate. A concern for that child’s life has to consider that the biological parent may require a large amount of community support in order to meet the child’s needs. A concern for the life of that child should include a concern for the life of the parent – her health, her resources, her readiness for the commitment involved. A truly “pro-life” viewpoint needs to consider more than just the biological definition of life.
Having children – or not, and when and where – ideally should be a choice, best made with preparation and planning. Part of that preparation involves responsible instruction about sex, including how to prevent unplanned pregnancies most effectively. There are certain choices made well before that stage is reached – celibacy or abstinence is a nearly foolproof preventive method that actually is chosen by some people, but it’s just unrealistic not to address birth control that acknowledges that sex happens. Ideally, before it does happen, the people involved have chosen methods to protect themselves and each other – and when it happens, they actually choose to use them. Instruction about and access to effective birth control is a start, but choosing to make use of it can help make other choices down the road unnecessary. (I speak from experience on this, as you can infer from earlier in this post.)
I have long supported the availability of, and access to, safe and legal abortion; I don’t expect to change my opinion on that, and in the simple definition, that makes me “pro-choice.” “Pro-choice” may be framed by opponents as “pro-abortion,” but most of the time they don’t mean the same thing; however, on the other side of the debate, “anti-choice” usually does equal “anti-abortion” at least as much as it means “pro-life.”
Abortion was not what I chose in my own circumstances, but if someone else’s were different, their choice might well be too. I understand that some people may see framing it as a woman’s choice about her own body as selfishness, but let’s be honest; in many situations where abortion ends up being the response to a pregnancy, the woman didn’t get pregnant by herself, but she’s the only one around to make the decision. No one I’ve known who has taken a “pro-choice” position has ever declared a belief that abortion is a good thing. It’s not, and it’s not a substitute for effective birth control either, but I think a realist has to accept that it’s sometimes necessary, and that safe, legal access to it isn’t a bad thing.
Supporting the right to a safe and legal abortion is the same as supporting the decision to carry, give birth to, and raise a child with a known developmental disability. It’s the same as supporting the choice to embark on single parenthood, or to give a baby up for adoption, or even to accelerate wedding plans (although in my opinion, it’s not the best choice for a couple who never considered marrying in the first place to do it because a baby’s on the way, especially considering the marriage casualty rate – again, speaking from experience). They’re all choices, and none of them are easy ones – most choices that ask you to consider life on a big scale aren’t easy ones. But in that context, being pro-choice is pro-life.
I don’t think that legal abortion is in a precarious position…truthfully, I think that’s a scare tactic frequently employed. Roe V. Wade will never be overturned.
I am of the safe, legal, and rare (it is not rare right now)camp and think that we should be doing everything we can to help people choose to carry. I get frustrated with both sides of this debate because no one ever seems willing to find common ground.
And in this election, it is frustrating because it is the same. Both candidates seem to be as polarizing as they could possibly be on this issue.
But this is just one issue, and while it would be fantastic if we could work it out, it’s not worth voting on this issue alone, as so many from both sides do. Conservatives voted for George W Bush like crazy over this issue and nothing has really changed in regards to abortion. It’s still legal and it’s still happening at the same rate. Meanwhile people have lost their lives in war.
thanks for sharing your story, and your very well thought out post. 🙂
Bravo, Florinda!
Although I have to disagree with Amy. With the possibility of 3 Supreme Court justices being replaced in the next 4 years, Roe v Wade is in danger.
Amy – I have to agree with April in thinking that the legality of abortion is threatened. I didn’t used to think so, and I think outlawing it would be a serious mistake – they tried that with alcohol in the 1920’s, and Prohibition was not exactly a rousing success.
I do agree with you that this is only one issue (and it probably gets more attention than it should), and there definitely is a common-ground problem, which is one of the reasons I wrote this the way I did. I’m also in the “safe, legal, and rare” camp, and I think that to achieve that “rare” part, there needs to be better availability and access to birth control AND better support for those who keep their babies.
April – Thanks! I do agree with you about the Supreme Court, which is one of the many reasons this election is so important.
Great post! I’ve always been seriously annoyed by the Pro-Life movement to label pro-choice as pro-abortion.
And I was going to make the same point that April made. Roe v. Wade IS in jeopardy…and that scares the bejeezus out of me.
Very well said! Not all women have the support and the health care and the personal circumstances that the Palins do. For the few who need it, abortion needs to be legal. Yes, if McCain or Palin gets the opportunity to stock the Supreme Court, Roe vs. Wade will be in jeopardy.
I’ve been pro-choice ever since we debated this issue freshman year in high school.
I had an unexpected pregnancy last year (ended in m/c) and can definitely say I was grateful to have had choices available. What I said I’d do “if it happens to me” and what I might have done when it did happen to me were actually at odds. I learned that we might not really know how we truly feel unless it (unwanted pregnancy) becomes our own reality so choice, to me, is very important.
I’ve had this post in draft for a couple of weeks, and I’ve been nervous about posting it. I really appreciate the good feedback so far, and hope further comments will be equally civil, even if they disagree.
AMomTwoBoys – That’s always irritated me too. I’ve yet to meet anyone pro-choice who actually took the prospect of abortion lightly.
Daisy – Exactly. To me, that’s what “choice” is – having options. As you point out, not everyone has the circumstances that support the Palin family’s decision.
Akemi – Thank you for sharing that, and for reinforcing some of points with your own story. You really can’t know what you’d do unless/until you’ve been there.
Fabulous, Florinda. I could not have said it better myself. Calm, articulate, reasoned, intelligent…hey, any chance you’d be willing to run for office? I’d vote for you in a heartbeat! Thanks for posting this – it desperately needed to be said and you said it beautifully.
Anna – Run for office?! Not a chance in hell, lady! But calm and balanced was my goal…glad you think I achieved that :-).
I’m submitting a variation on this for the LA Moms Blog too.
Florinda —
I love this post! Very well articulated and it sums up my feelings exactly. Pro-choice is certainly NOT anti-life! I’m going to turn the computer over to my husband to read this post now!! 🙂
Thanks –
Lori
http://www.barefootinhighheels.wordpress.com
I agree; great post. I don’t have much to add myself, I just had to say it was a great, well written post.
Lori and Mike – Thanks for your encouraging comments. I really appreciate that no one’s taken me to task on this yet!
I agree with Lori, Florinda. Your thoughts are very well articulated here. I don’t like the idea of abortion and would prefer other options be seriously considered before the decision to terminate a pregnancy is made, but like you, I consider myself pro-choice and pro-life (by our definition) for the very reasons you state.
I think part of the problem is that unwanted pregnancies will never be rare while large numbers of people (including government agencies) are trying to keep teens and young adults from learning about and accessing birth control in the believe that a) it will encourage them to have sex, and b) even preventing pregnancy is somehow immoral. Until we can work our way past those attitudes, we’ll never get to the common ground, or the “safe, legal and rare” situation.
You said it all, Florinda, and said it beautifully. Just please folks–if you’re pro-choice, don’t refer to the anti-abortion folks as “pro-life”–it just feeds into their propaganda machine. They’re not pro-life any more or less than the pro-choice people are pro-life. They are anti-abortion and it is their job to spin the pro-choice folks as murderers.
Don’t buy into it, people, and remember–word choice does matter. Re-read 1984 if you don’t believe me.
Anyhow, off my soapbox now. . .kudos to you, Florinda, for posting and sharing your story. Now everyone else–go out and vote for Obama/Biden. We REALLY need to protect the Supreme Court.
Literary Feline – I’d much rather see people make effective use of birth control than get into a situation where they’re using abortion as after-the-fact “birth control.”
KFB – I absolutely agree about birth control. “Abstinence-only sex education”=”out-and-out denial,” in my opinion. If you really want to make abortion go away, do what’s necessary to make it UNnecessary.
Karen – I say this knowing that it really only applies to the most radical abortion foes, but I have never understood how people who encourage blowing up clinics and killing doctors can honestly call themselves “pro-life.”
And I’m glad to let you borrow the soapbox :-). The opinions expressed by Karen S., Nouvelle Blogger, are her own and do not reflect…well, they actually DO pretty closely reflect my own.
I’ve always wondered why pro-life people are so opposed to measures that would help pregnant women get adequate nutrition and measures that would help pregnant women get out of abusive homes and measures that would help pregnant women get adequate medical care.
Pro-choice means choice. I’m frequently astounded by the number of people that think Pro-Choicers want everyone to have an abortion. I’m thrilled to be pregnant, but I certainly wouldn’t force it on anyone else.
on a side note, where do people who oppose ending a pregnancy even to save the love of the mother stand on issues like ectopic pregnancies?
Judy – Yes, I agree; “pro-choice” is CHOICE, period. You make some really good points about some real inconsistencies. And not everyone is thrilled to be pregnant, unfortunately.
That’s a good question about ectopic pregnancy – I really don’t know official position on that.
You had me at “controversial post” over at Merlot Mom.
Thank you for an excellent, well presented point of view. I am in full agreement.
When I see “pro-lifers” lining the sidewalks in protest of clinics, I want to shout “Use your energy to help the children who are already born!” Care about the ravages of poverty, neglect, and abuse. DO something about it instead of carrying a self-righteous sign. Grrr.
I absolutely love that you posted this… I agree 100% with your position. I always want to get political on my book blog, but mostly I just review politically-centered or feminist books instead (which can even be dangerous territory depending on the types of people that visit and the opinions that they have). This is the first time I’ve visited you, and you can bet I’ll be back. 🙂 Thanks for being such an awesome blogger!
PhD – Exactly. Why does it seem that the unborn are more important than the children that are already here? It could be that the anti-abortion folks are right and that women are just cavalierly ending pregnancies right and left on a whim – but I truly doubt that.
Heatherlo – Nice to meet you! This is more of a “personal blog with a healthy dose of books” than a dedicated books-only blog, as you’ll see if you visit again :-), but there’s plenty of book-related posting too.
Reviewing political/feminist books is a great way to ease your books blog into the political discussion.
What a refreshing and interesting post! I am glad to see that some non-political bloggers are speaking up on the issues we are facing this election season.
I am pro-choice and have known many a friend throughout the years who have been grateful for the choices allotted them when faced with an unexpected pregnancy and some even chose to abort. I don’t know of them having regrets or giong into terrible depressions (any worse than post-pardum depression). To have this choice deleted from the legal list of available choices would be detrimental to women in the U.S. Taking advantage of a legal abortion or not, just knowing that the choice is available is great.
I posted a variation on this post on the Los Angeles Moms Blog, and I’d encourage you to check out the comments over there, especially the one from Amy Anderson.
PlanetBooks – Most of the people I know are having trouble staying non-political this year, and I think that’s good.
Making abortion illegal would NOT make it go away. It would reduce the number performed, sure, and it would become difficult and dangerous to get one – but it wouldn’t go away.
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