#Fridaynonsense: From the College of Commonsense Knowledge

I haven’t posted one of these random lists recently, which I think is one of the signs that people don’t e-mail any more (because they’re all on Facebook, but that’s another story) – that’s usually how I come across things like this. However, this one came via her GReader Shared Items, and was originally posted here – I’ve just edited it down a little (and added some of my own commentary, because I just can’t allow some things to go unremarked upon).

From the College of (Should-Be-)Obvious Things: Truths that (Should Be) Self-Evident

  • I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
  • Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
  • There is great need for a sarcasm font (and NOT for statements about the need for a sarcasm font).
  • How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? (This is in the Top 5 Unsolved Mysteries of All Time, I swear.)
  • Was learning cursive really necessary?
  • MapQuest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. (The same thing could be said about Google Maps – and by the way, does anyone actually still use MapQuest?)
  • Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
  • I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
  • I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
  • Bad decisions make good stories. (And thus, a blog is born…)
  • You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. (But if that moment comes at 9:30 AM, that’s not a good sign.)
  • I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
  • I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. (But I’m not talking about your number…)
  • I think the freezer deserves a light as well. (I agree – mine has one.)
  • I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
  • I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
  • I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. (And I have a feeling it might not just be me with that problem…)
  • If it tastes good, just don’t eat it.
  • How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said? (Seriously, I need an answer to this.)
  • I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.  (Except for when they’ve forced the jerk to be a jerk in the first place, because no one would let them in any earlier…welcome to life on LA’s freeways!)
  • Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. (But if you live with me, please don’t!)
  • Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
  • Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
  • The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
  • People who live in New York City don’t realize it is legal to move away. (I’m related to some of those people, but because we are on opposite coasts, I don’t get to to see them very often.)
  • Contrary to popular opinion, there are bad ideas.
  • I miss Gary Larson.  Why did he have to retire and Jay Leno won’t?

Got any to add?

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