Thanks to Jessica Chun at Gotham Books/Penguin Group for offering a review copy of this book! The book is currently available in bookstores and online.
Mojo Mom: Nurturing Your Self While Raising a Family
Amy Tiemann, Ph.D.
Gotham Books, 2009 (ISBN 1592404553 / 9781592404551)
Nonfiction, 256 pages
Read an excerpt on the publisher’s website.
Comments: When I first began making my way around the blogiverse a couple of years ago, Amy Tiemann’s blog, Mojo Mom, became an early addition to my blogroll. Through her blog, I’ve followed the process of her writing an updated edition of her parenting book, also titled Mojo Mom, and was excited to be offered a chance to read and review it.
One accusation often leveled at “bad mothers” is selfishness. But there’s a selfishness of self-importance and superiority, and a selfishness that simply acknowledges that one’s self is just as important as anyone else’s. The subtitle of Tiemann’s book refers to the second kind of selfishness; it’s the idea that we’re actually better nurturers of our families and communities when we don’t lose ourselves in the process.
Acknowledging that motherhood changes our identities, Tiemann’s premise is that change doesn’t have to equal loss. Even when we’re overwhelmed by the exhaustion and demands of early motherhood, we need to recognize that our own needs and wants still exist – and deserve time and attention. It’s not going to be like this forever, and self-care is the first basic step in ensuring that a sense of self remains healthy.
Tiemann’s tone throughout the book is knowledgable and encouraging, rather than authoritative and insistent. Beginning with the early-motherhood period she calls “the cocoon,” she suggests that this period of intense mother-and-child togetherness can also be a time when we re-evaluate who we are and who we want to be. The changes motherhood brings can help us focus on how we want to go forward as ourselves. And despite the somewhat New-Age-y way I’ve put that, Tiemann’s approach is very practical. She discusses ways to handle gulit and anxiety, claiming time and “mind space,” and discovering outlets for self-expression. She examines relationships with partners, money, and the larger community, and suggests that at-home-mom/working-mom “mommy wars” may be fighting the wrong enemies. She offers references and resources in every chapter, as well as illustrative anecdotes.
Recommendation: I’m a believer in the kind of “positive selfishness” that this book advocates. I don’t feel that we give our best to our relationships if we don’t make our own care and nurturing a priority. I think it’s very easy to get “lost” in motherhood, and I appreciate the ways that Amy Tiemann addresses and combats this in Mojo Mom. I would recommend this for mothers-to-be and new moms as a little nudge to care for themselves during this wild transitional time. However, motherhood has a number of transitional times – as do the childhoods is parallels – and Mojo Mom‘s ideas and guidance could be valuable to mothers whose children are emerging into the pre-school and school-age years, and even mothers of teens and those on the verge of emptying nests. Amy Tiemann’s book suggests that it’s never too late to locate and nurture your Mommy Mojo.
Buy the book:
Check out Amy Tiemann’s own summaries of each chapter of the book on the Mojo Mom blog!
Other reviews:
Girl w/Pen
WIN THE BOOK: The publisher has authorized me to give away a copy of Mojo Mom! Are you a mom trying to get a handle on your Mojo, or are you a Mojo-Mom-to-be who’s preparing for this huge change in her life? Is there a Mom in your life – a friend, a sister – who you’d like to help find her Mojo? This book just might be for you!
Entries will be accepted until Saturday, May 16th. Here’s how to enter:
Optional Bonus entry (Twitter): Tweet that you’re finding your Mom Mojo with Mojo Mom, and link to this post. Leave a comment here to let me know you’ve tweeted.
This is a publisher giveaway restricted to US mailing addresses only. Your comment MUST answer at least one of the two queries AND include an e-mail address to be counted as a giveaway entry!
This sounds like a good book to read along with Ayelet Waldman’s Bad Mother, which I reviewed recently. Bad Mother might be for moms of older children, and this one sounds like it’s for moms of younger children (I used to love that phrase “young mothers,” since I was 33 when I had my first).
I’ve always been selfish about insisting that I have some time for a life of the mind outside the home for a few hours each week; even when my kids were preschoolers, I commuted to a nearby campus and taught one or two classes during the school year.
I didn’t go the tenure-track route because of my kids, so while I agree that it’s a good reminder that none of the early motherhood stuff lasts forever, there are still some real issues with motherhood and career.
Finding my Mommy Mojo? I love it!
Since my daughter was born nearly two years ago, I feel like I’ve been pulled in a million directions and everyone wants a part of me–at work, at home. Since we struggled with miscarriages and infertility before finally having her, it’s difficult not to wipe the guilt of negative feelings awayl. Add to it that my stepfather died nearly a year ago, and I have been managing the estate with equally as needy stepsiblings.
I have become an obsessive knitter, justifying that I’m making things for my daughter when it is really just the process that’s keeping me grounded. I’ve also been trying to clear off excess duties at work and home so that I can concentrate on what I need to do. In the past week, I’ve been reading for fun and wearing make-up!
I’m looking forward to this book! Thanks for writing it!
darcy(dot)casavant(at)gmail(dot)com
Oh, I so want to win this one!
Oh, crap, I didn’t enter correctly. One thing I do to nurture my Mom Mojo: I try never to plan anything on Sundays so that the girls and I can have at least one day w/ no structured schedule or activities.
And I tweeted it, too.
This book sounds like a good read. I think I’m in the “need to find my Mom Mojo” category. Ever since being laid off a couple weeks ago, I’ve had to redefine myself as a mom. Luckily, I’ve gotten to spend more time with my daughter, but the transition was so abrupt. I’m still figuring out how to negotiate this new path.
losangelesstory@gmail.com
Hi! Just want to say that I’ve posted about this on Win A Book.
Jeanne – I linked to your review of Bad Mother in the review I posted yesterday. I think you’re right about reading that book with this one, which is why I reviewed them back-to-back.
I agree that there are still very real issues concerning motherhood and careers, and that’s one of the areas Tiemann addresses in the later chapters of this book.
Bridget – Thanks for posting the giveaway!
I’ve started a spreadsheet to keep track of the entries – keep ’em coming!
i don’t make myself do anything i don’t want to do during the kids’ naptime. and i make sure we always have a nap/rest time. that way i can have time to myself. i’m still trying to figure out how to get the kids to do their chores without incessant arguing.
melanie(dot)myatt(at)gmail(dot)com
as a new mom i don’t know where my mom mojo is, i need to find it, great giveaway.
I nuture my Mojo Mom by taking me time and giving in to the little luxuries like Starbucks lattes and manicures in a salon.
Thanks for the giveaway!
Kimspam66(at)yahoo(dot)com
ooo, enter me! I don’t do much for my mojo, but I do read and write.
And today I got my hair cut. Does clipping my nails count?
I can’t wait to read this book!! I LOVED the first version when I received it as a baby gift, and I recommend it to ALL my mom friends!
To nuture my Mojo — I try to take some quiet time for myself and READ!! I also was acting in community theater, but that’s been put mostly on hold, with 3 babies in less than 4 years! 🙂 But even with the theater — just staying a part of the group, seeing the shows, and being asked to be a part of some small theatrical performances is a big help in nurturing my own mojo!
Thanks for the giveaway — I have my fingers crossed!!
Lori
hawkins_lori (at) hotmail (dot) com
I have to say, lately, I have no mommy mojo. I haven’t slept through the night in over a year, and I feel like I spend a lot of time in crisis mode.
iluvchrisnlevi@aol.com
I’m having my first baby soon, so the Mommy Mojo thing is kicking in big time
digicat{AT}sbcglobal{DOT}net
I nurture my mojo by pampering me — weekly manicures/pedicures, lattes etc.
Thanks for the giveaway!
Kimspam66(at)yahoo(dot)com