My aunt retired a few years ago after thirty years of teaching in the same public elementary school in the Bronx; this came via e-mail from her.

Fred is getting along in years and finds that he is unable to perform sexually. He finally goes to his doctor, who tries a few things but nothing seems to work. So the doctor refers him to an American Indian medicine man.

The medicine man says, “I can cure this.” That said, he throws a white powder in a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. Then he says, “This is powerful medicine. You can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say ‘123’ and it shall rise for as long as you wish!”

Fred then asks, “What happens when it’s over, and I don’t want to continue?”

The medicine man replies: “All you or your partner has to say is 1234, and it will go down. But be warned — it will not work again for another year!”

Fred rushes home, eager to try out his new powers and prowess. That night he is ready to surprise Joyce. He showers, shaves, and puts on his most exotic shaving lotion. He gets into bed, and lying next to her says, “123.” He suddenly becomes more aroused than anytime in his life…just as the medicine man had promised.

Joyce, who had been facing away, turns over and asks, “What did you say 123 for?”

And that, my friends, is why you shouldn’t end a sentence with a preposition.

===================
The following is stolen intact from Naomi Dunford at IttyBiz, but also has e-mail roots:

The Bad Pun as Good Tagline

Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:
Dr. Jones, at your cervix.
***
In a Podiatrist’s office:
Time Wounds All Heels.
***
On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday’s Meals–on Wheels
***
At a Proctologist’s door:
To expedite your visit, please back in.
***
On a Plumber’s truck:
We Repair What Your Husband Fixed
***
On another Plumber’s truck:
Don’t sleep with a drip; Call your plumber!
***
On a Church’s Billboard:
7 days without God makes one weak.
***
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
Invite us to your next blowout.
***
At a Towing company:
We don’t charge an arm and a leg: We want tows.
***
On an Electrician’s truck:
Let Us Remove Your Shorts
***
In a Nonsmoking Area:
If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
***
On a Maternity Room door:
Push. Push. Push!
***
At an Optometrist’s Office:
If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.
***
On a Taxidermist’s window:
We really know our stuff.
***
On a Fence:
Salesmen Welcome! Dog Food Is Expensive!
***
At a Car Dealership:
The best way to get back on your feet: miss a car payment.
***
Outside a Muffler Shop:
No appointment necessary; We hear you coming.
***
In a Veterinarian’s waiting room:
Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
***
In a Restaurant window:
Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.
***
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
Drive carefully! We’ll wait…
***
At a Propane Filling Station:
Thank heaven for little grills.
***
At a radiator shop:
Best place in town to take a leak
***
Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
CAUTION – This Truck is Full of Political Promises

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