…even if you don’t work for Dunder Mifflin.
Via Laurie at Team Building is For Suckers:
1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. I may be a little moody so be prepared.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.
3. Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctor’s having my brain removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from holiday on 10/18/07. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over.)
7. Thank you for your message which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
8. Hi, I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
9. I’ve run away to join a different circus.
10. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ‘Lisa’ instead of ‘Les’.
- Being told to “think outside the box” when you’re in a freakin’ box all day long.
- Not being able to check e-mail attachments without turning around to see who’s behind you.
- Cubicle walls do not offer much protection from any kind of gun fire.
- That nagging feeling that if you press the right button, you’ll get a piece of cheese.
- Lack of roof rafters for the noose.
- The walls are too close together for the hammock to work right.
- 23 power cords – 1 outlet.
- Prison cells are not only bigger, they also have beds.
- The carpet has been there since 1976 and shows more signs of life than your co-workers.
And the number 1 drawback to working in a cubicle …
- You can’t walk out and slam the door when you quit.
And sometimes work will darn near kill you…
Via e-mail from my friend Amy:
MY LIVING WILL…… Last night, my sister and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her,“I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.” She got up, unplugged my computer and threw out my wine.