…at least, it doesn’t have to be. For some of us, it’s a struggle between all the things that need to get done, asking for help to get them done, and then doing them ourselves anyway because we’re not happy with how they get done. But just because it’s not done our way doesn’t necessarily mean it’s done the wrong way, and if we really want to get out from under all of that stuff we’re juggling, that’s one of the first things we need to accept.
This is the topic of my most recent article for Work It, Mom! Most of us do have resources under our own roofs, but we don’t use them enough, or we’re not happy with the results when we do. If we’re willing to cede a little control. though, we can potentially gain a lot.Here’s an excerpt:
It’s a familiar feeling for working moms to feel like we’re carrying everything on our shoulders – because we frequently are. Some of that is just an occupational hazard, but some of it could be avoidable if we’re just willing to ask for some help, and maybe give up a little control in return. That may mean things won’t exactly get done the way we’d do them ourselves, but they’d at least get done and we wouldn’t actually have to do them ourselves. It involves adopting a manager’s viewpoint and skills, including delegation and empowerment. And some of those potential sources of help are under our own roof. We may just have to change perspective a little to see them that way – as a help with the work, and less as a source of it. It’s redefining the “home team.”
By the time our kids get to be school-aged, they are probably ready to start doing things to help out with the daily household routines. In my opinion, younger kids are the most helpful when they are doing things for themselves – dressing themselves (if you’re afraid of what that might look like, give them a restricted set of options to work with), making their beds, picking up their own toys (not just in their rooms, but anywhere in the house), even fixing their own breakfasts and lunches. They’ll probably still need you to supervise and direct for awhile, but that’s something you can handle while doing something else simultaneously – aren’t we supposed to be master multitaskers, after all? Ideally, as time goes by, they’ll be capable of taking on more, and branching out into things that benefit other members of the household in addition to themselves. This is actually a great opportunity for them; the more skills they have the chance to learn at home, the better prepared they will be for that eventual day when they’re out on their own, and have to feed themselves and do their own laundry. (Yes, it will actually happen someday…)
Click the link above this quote to read more, if you like!