There’s a discussion on Work It, Mom! addressing that classic question, “Can money buy happiness?” It was inspired by a member article that in turn was influenced by a post on Gretchen Rubin’s “Happiness Project” blog last week that suggested eight ways that money could make you happy. One of the main points of both articles is that happiness that can be “bought” is probably not going to be in the form of “more stuff.”
I started out my first Speak Your Mind article with the sentence “Yes, money DOES change everything.” Not necessarily in the sense of having or not having it, at least not directly. But it changes your life situation, which may change how you look at the world, how you relate to others, and what you value – but it’s the situation that changed, and you changed with it. Money is just the tool that brought about that change.
I usually try to avoid giving unequivocal answers to questions like “Can money buy happiness?” so I’m going to say “It depends.” It depends on a couple of factors:
- How a person defines happiness in the first place, and
- How a person would use money to achieve it
If having the most and the newest versions of material things is really what motivates you and makes you happy, then it’s a “yes.” The follow-up question is how enduring that happiness is – does it wear off and need another infusion of “things” to boost it up again?
Money may not be able to buy a commodity called “happiness” itself, but it can buy “pleasure” pretty easily, which can have a passing resemblance to happiness.
Money does make it easier to provide physical security for yourself and your family, which goes back to my earlier point about it being a tool to change your situation. On the flip side, the lack of money to meet your material needs, or struggling to have enough, tends to create stress and tension in your life. If this stress can be eased, and money accomplishes that, it can feel a lot like happiness. Studies support that the less money you have, the more it matters to your happiness; once you have enough of it to keep basic needs met, it has less of an effect – I think it’s called “diminishing marginal utility” or something like that in economics. It probably has something to do with the “rich but unhappy” stereotype, too
Money can often be traded for time, or services, that will allow us to do something that makes us happy. We may be able to pay someone to do our housecleaning or yardwork, which will give us time to spend on something else that’s hopefully more enjoyable, like doing something with a friend or taking our kids on an outing. We can give ourselves intangible treats like a spa day that will refresh and energize us.
I think that some people may feel there’s a point where they’ll have “enough” money, and then they can be happy. That point, and what it’s “enough” for, would probably be different for everyone. Is it “enough” to know all the bills and basic costs of living are paid? Plus a stable savings? Plus not having debt (or none other than a mortgage)? Plus being able to take vacations and entertain yourself and your family? And is it the getting or the having that matters more? That’s the tricky thing about “enough.”
I’ve never been wealthy and doubt I ever will be, but I’ve struggled financially and I’ve been comfortably middle-class. I think money does give you opportunities and freedom to find happiness in various ways. The “Happiness Project” post on this question had some great suggestions for accomplishing that, and here are a few examples:
1. Strengthen bonds with family and friends. Studies show that having close relationships is one of the most important elements of a happy life. Pay for a plane ticket to visit your brother’s new baby, go to your college reunion, throw a Superbowl party.
4. Think about fun. Ask yourself – and be honest – what’s fun for you? Fishing, bird-watching, travel, hunting through flea markets, experimenting in the kitchen, skiing, scrapbooking? Make sure that your calendar reflects some activities that you are doing just for FUN. For happiness, you’re better off using your money to have a great experience than to gain a possession.
5. Serenity and security. Peace of mind is critical to happiness, so use the money to pay down your debts or to add to your savings.
7. Spend the money on someone else. One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make someone else happy. Think about ways you could spend the money that would make a big difference to someone else — whether someone you know, or a cause you support. How many new books could the library’s children’s room add to the shelves?
Several of these tips back up this point: One thing about happiness is that sometimes it’s more achievable when we stop thinking so much about how to get it for ourselves, and put some effort into helping create it for someone else – a special gift or treat for someone, a fun activity, or a donation to a charity or cause – and then it becomes a gift that gives back.
Money can change everything, and that includes who you are as a person – depending on how you use it. It’s a tool. It has no inherent value – its value is based on what you can do with it. And it literally can’t buy anything that has no price. But you can use it in ways that will help you be happy; you just have to know for yourself what those ways are.
As I said, this is provoking some good discussion – check out the Q&A section and Nataly’s blog post at Work It, Mom!
