This came via e-mail from a friend, and would have been even more appropriate a few weeks ago, but it sounds a lot like a condition I’ve read about on a lot of other blogs this summer.
PTSIO: “Post Traumatic School Is Out” Syndrome
Symptoms include:
- Loss of balance – due to tripping over piles of leftover school supplies, end of year projects, extra gym shoes and paint shirts.
- Headaches – due to sudden loss of any personal time during the day as well as loss of late evening personal time – they are staying up later than you now that it’s summer!
- Feeling of chaos – due to house a disaster 24/7 (used to at least be clean a few hours while kids at school).
- Earaches – due to loud begging from children for sleepovers with friends, as well as pleas for setting up the pool, and/or going to the pool.
- Dizziness – due to increased shuttling to and from friends houses, swimming lessons, summer camps, baseball and other sports.
- Ringing in ears – due to phone and doorbell constantly ringing with friends wanting to play.
- Pain in the neck – due to husband’s annoying: What did you do today honey? (DUH! The kids are home!)
- Sudden weight gain and bad hair days – due to Mom’s inability to go to the gym, get a hair cut/color caused by kids constant presence.
- Feelings of claustrophobia – due to kids hanging on you, causing inability to accomplish simple tasks like going to grocery store.
Length of PTSIO Syndrome:
Usually about 90 days (June-August)
Remedies include:
Locking yourself in the bathroom for the next 90 days and/or stocking up on beer, wine and other alcoholic consumables as coping mechanisms. Other possible remedies include taping therapeutic Oprah episodes and watching late night. (Lord knows you can’t watch it during the day – “their shows” are on!)
Prognosis:
While PTSIO Syndrome is not usually fatal to either parents or children, some mothers have been driven to the brink of insanity – but thankfully almost all regain their faculties by early September.
