…And reading a bit too much of it when I should be working. Late-spring fever, or maybe overwhelmed and under-motivated.
Thinking about a couple of the posts I’ve read this week:
The Grrl Genius‘ reflection on good coming from bad, asking the question Do you think it’s possible to ever learn this lesson so that when the bad thing is ACTUALLY HAPPENING you can shrug it off and know that something good must therefore be coming VERY SOON? made me reflect on the whole “one door closes, another opens” concept.
In my experience, it’s been a long hard road to find that other door many times. It’s not so hard to imagine everything staying in the same bad place it’s in at that time – we can only project from what we already know and where we already are, and when that seems to be at the bottom of a big dark pit with no ladder, it’s tough to be an optimist (which can be a challenge for me even in better circumstances). Then there’s that little nagging doubt that this might be the time when your luck’s run out and things don’t actually turn around, even if they always have eventually, which might make you a little afraid to believe something good might come out of the situation after all. It’s the “eventually” part that’s the rub there – patience can be another tough one. I think all of these factors make it tough to shrug off the bad and be sure something good is around the corner.
My divorce from First Husband was the roughest experience of my adult life – it was pretty drawn out and the recovery was lengthy, and I’m not sure that the fact we stayed in pretty regular contact with each other made it any easier (the fact I moved across the country probably helped a lot, though). I felt like I was in a sad and suspended state for several years, and it felt like that was going to be the case for the rest of my life. I was getting pretty used to it – it was a messed-up little world, but at least it was familiar. When he let me know he was marrying again, that was the part where it got worse before it got better – but also when the good part started to peek around the corner, since I finally got myself into effective therapy (the adjective really matters) and made some major changes in my outlook. A few months later, I met TallGuy, Husband #2-to-be, and was on my way to a much happier place than I’d have begun to imagine five years ago. Sometimes the good thing that follows the bad takes an awfully long time to show up, and it can be tough to believe it ever will – to answer GG’s question, I think that may be why it’s hard to shrug it off.
On a somewhat related note, The Happiness Project discusses why happy people tend to be better workers, so it’s in business’ best interests to cultivate happiness – which isn’t exactly the same thing as “keeping your workers happy,” but more that you’ll get better work out of happy people, regardless of the source of their happiness. I’ve worked when I’ve been happy and when I haven’t been, and I’d agree that I work better when I’m happy. And on that note, this happy camper needs to wrap up a lunchtime writing session and get back to making the numbers come out right.