Saturday Stuff: “Just for fun” edition

I’ve been encountering some fun stuff in my Reader and my Inbox this week, so as a change of pace, I thought I’d share some of it this weekend. The regular links roundup will return next week.

Via e-mail from my aunt, a retired New York City teacher:

Kids  Are  Quick

TEACHER:   Maria, go to the map and find  North America .
MARIA:     Here it  is.
TEACHER:  Correct.  Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS:      Maria.
____________________________________

TEACHER:  John, why are you doing your math multiplication on  the floor?
JOHN:      You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________

TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell  ‘crocodile?’
GLENN:    K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.
TEACHER:  No, that’s wrong.
GLENN:    Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. 
____________________________________________

TEACHER:  Donald, what is the chemical formula for  water?
DONALD:   H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:  What are you talking about?
DONALD:   Yesterday you said it’s H to O. 
__________________________________

TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE:    Me!
__________________________________________ 

TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN:      Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are. 
_______________________________________

TEACHER:   Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘ I. ‘
MILLIE:     I  is..
TEACHER:   No, Millie… Always say, ‘I  am.’
MILLIE:      All right…  ‘I am  the ninth letter of the alphabet.’  
________________________________

TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down  his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS:      Because George still had the axe in his hand. 
______________________________________ 

TEACHER:   Now,  Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers  before eating?
SIMON:     No sir, I don’t have to, my  Mom is a good cook. 
______________________________

TEACHER:   Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy  his?
CLYDE :     No, sir. It’s the same dog. 
___________________________________

TEACHER:  Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer  interested?
HAROLD:   A teacher.

One of Jennifer Weiner’s favorite jokes:

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit:

“May I see the new baby?’ I asked.

“Not yet,’ she said ‘I’ll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.”

Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, ‘May I see the new baby now?’

‘No, not yet,’ she said.

After another few minutes had elapsed, I asked again, ‘May I see the baby now?’

“No, not yet,’ replied my friend.

Growing very impatient, I asked, ‘Well, when can I see the baby?’

“WHEN HE CRIES!’ she told me.

“WHEN HE CRIES?’ I demanded. ‘Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?’

“BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, O.K.?!!’

Now, what was I doing?, via Not Always Right

Bookstore | Gainesville, FL, USA
Customer: “Hello?”
Me: “Hello ma’am, this is **** Bookstore. I’m calling to let you know the book you ordered has come in.”
Customer: “What? You’re who?”
Me: “This is **** Bookstore. You ordered a book from us and it’s here.”
Customer: “I ordered a book?”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer: “I don’t remember ordering anything.”
Me: “The order sticker says you ordered it last week. The title is Improving Your Memory.”

Thanks to everyone who contributed to Gypsy‘s total of 12 votes in A Novel Menagerie‘s “Beautiful Baby Contest” – she didn’t come in last, and she did receive an honorable mention:

gypsy

Gypsy – Voted “Lady Of Grace & Elegance” Award

This photo was taken while she was drying off in the sun after falling into a creek – so much for grace and elegance! However, she is a Southern Belle and a (sort of) classy dame, and she appreciates the honor!

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 2,420 other subscribers

TBIF: Thank blog it’s Friday! This week in books and memes

TBIF: Thank blog it’s Friday! This week in books and memes

BOOKKEEPING: The Reading Status Report Currently Reading: The Laws of Harmony by Judith Ryan Hendricks (via LibraryThing’s Early Reviewers Program) Teaser: “I buy a double espresso from a woman who has a little cart set up right by the entrance every Saturday and head for Heather the Bread Lady’s table, piled with crusty brown loaves that she and her family bake in their wood-burning brick oven. With a loaf of still-warm country French in my […]

Questions, questions, questions…now available with answers!

Questions, questions, questions…now available with answers!

When my sister tagged me on Facebook for “50 Questions You May Never Have Been Asked,” I thought it was something other than what it turned out to be, which is simply answering 50 random questions – some of which I actually have been asked before, just for the record. Once I answer them, I’ll tell you what I my first reaction was… I answered these questions on Tuesday evening between 6:30 and 8:30 PM. […]

Springtime at the Movies, part two: Where to Watch?

Springtime at the Movies, part two: Where to Watch?

Let’s all go to the lobby…follow the dancing popcorn! Since I already had a movie-review post this week, I thought it might be a good time to join in on the weekly Movie Meme hosted at The Bumbles Blog. It goes up there on Mondays, but as y’all know, I almost never do these things on their appointed day, so here it is on Wednesday. This week’s question: How do you watch movies? Do you […]

Springtime at the Movies, part one: Triple Feature!

Springtime at the Movies, part one: Triple Feature!

It’s movie-going season! It doesn’t seem like it was all that long ago that “summer movie season” started around Memorial Day weekend – the unofficial start of everything else summer – but now it kicks up near the beginning of May, which is barely halfway through spring! In any case, after a couple of months in a dry spell, it seems like we’ve been in one theater or another almost every weekend since late April. […]

Monday Book Talk: “Dating Jesus,” by Susan Campbell

Monday Book Talk: “Dating Jesus,” by Susan Campbell

I received this book for review through LibraryThing’s Early Reviewers Program. Dating Jesus: A Story of Fundamentalism, Feminism, and the American Girl Susan Campbell Beacon Press, 2009 (hardcover) (ISBN 0807010669 / 9780807010662) Memoir, 215 pages First sentence: “The devil is in an air bubble floating beneath my baptismal robe.” Random clip (page 149): “Though Roman Catholic, Flannery O’Connor was Christ-haunted. No matter how far she traveled or what she wrote, Christ was floating right by […]

Saturday Review 5-23: This week around the blogiverse

Saturday Review 5-23: This week around the blogiverse

Bulletin Board *** Laura from L.A. Story was the winner of my Mojo Mom giveaway – congratulations! The publisher has sent your copy on its way to you.*** *** Book bloggers NOT going to BEA (Book Expo America) in New York next week, this is for you (and that includes me!): You’re invited to BEATwittyparty on Friday, May 29, from 8-10 PM Eastern time, on Twitter! Rebecca at The Book Lady’s Blog is working on […]

TBIF – Thank blog it’s Friday! This week in memes and books (5-22-09)

TBIF – Thank blog it’s Friday! This week in memes and books (5-22-09)

NEW: Reading Status Report I’ve seen many other book bloggers post weekly and/or monthly recaps of their reading, blogging, and other book-related activity, and have kicked around doing the same. Time to quit dribbling and shoot for the goal! This will be a weekly/biweekly feature, depending on what else is happening. Currently reading: The 19th Wife by David Ebershoff, for an upcoming TLC Book Tour Teaser: “The thing about Heber is that I could never […]

A Hometown Story (Weekly Geeks 2009-18): Walking in Memphis – with books

A Hometown Story (Weekly Geeks 2009-18): Walking in Memphis – with books

This week’s Geekery comes from Softdrink (Jill) of Fizzy Thoughts: Take us on a literary tour of your hometown! Share your fun literary facts about the town or area where you live. You can talk about famous (or not so famous) authors who live there, novels that have been set in your area, or any other literary facts that you know about where you live. Feel free to embellish with pictures of places and/or authors, […]

Because someone asked: Blogging about Blogging

Because someone asked: Blogging about Blogging

Ms. Mazzola at State of Denmark has taken on a “senior project” of her own to keep her students company; she’s doing some research on blogs and blogging. She’s posted some questions for bloggers, and if you’d like to be part of her unscientific, self-selected survey group, you’re welcome to answer them on your own blog and leave a link in the comments on the “project” post. This is my contribution to the effort. It’s […]

Flashback: 1979 (Weekend Assignment #267)

Flashback: 1979 (Weekend Assignment #267)

In honor of her 30th wedding anniversary – which is TODAY! Happy Anniversary, Karen and John! – Karen has invited us to take a trip back in time: Weekend Assignment #267: On Tuesday, John and I will have been married to 30 years. If you’re old enough to remember the late 1970s, please tell us what you were up to way back then. If not, pretend I asked about the late 1980s. If you’re too […]

Monday Book Talk: “The Senator’s Wife,” by Sue Miller

Monday Book Talk: “The Senator’s Wife,” by Sue Miller

The Senator’s Wife Sue Miller Vintage, 2008 (paperback) (ISBN 0307276694 / 9780307276698) Fiction, 320 pages First sentence: From her perch in the middle of the backseat, Meri surveys the two in front—her husband, Nathan, and Sheila, the real estate agent Random clip (page 23): “She makes her breakfast and sits listening to the news on the local public radio station. There’s much talk, about a year later, about the recovery from Hurricane Andrew in Florida.” […]

Saturday Review 5-16-09: This week (and last) around the blogiverse

Saturday Review 5-16-09: This week (and last) around the blogiverse

Newbies in my Google Reader Edge of the Page Bookworm With A View Metalia Follow the Reader The Burton Review Medieval Bookworm Dispatches from across the blogiverse A little late for Mother’s Day, but since moms are important enough to talk about every day: 10 ways that real moms are BETTER than TV moms (yes, even June Cleaver…) Evidence from the bookstore that the mommy wars are still going strong Finding Mom in unexpected little […]

TBIF: Thank Blog It’s Friday! This week in memes and books

TBIF: Thank Blog It’s Friday! This week in memes and books

Musing Mondays, hosted at Just One More Page: “Re-reads” Today’s MUSING MONDAYS post is about books and reading… Have you ever finished a book, then turned around and immediately re-read it? Why? What book(s)? (question courtesy of MizB) It’s been a while since I’ve re-read anything. There are books that I’ve read two or three or four times, but there’s usually some space – at least a year, sometimes much longer – between readings. I […]

Mark my Book Reviews (Weekly Geeks 2009-16 AND 2009-17)

Mark my Book Reviews (Weekly Geeks 2009-16 AND 2009-17)

I didn’t get to last week’s Weekly Geeks assignment, so I’m doing a two-fer this time around – but I’ll go backwards and start with the current theme, courtesy of Bookish Ruth: Do you use bookmarks or just grab whatever is handy to mark your page? Do you collect lots of different bookmarks or do you have a favorite one that you use exclusively? If you’re not someone who uses bookmarks on a regular basis, […]