Saturday Stuff: “Just for fun” edition

I’ve been encountering some fun stuff in my Reader and my Inbox this week, so as a change of pace, I thought I’d share some of it this weekend. The regular links roundup will return next week.

Via e-mail from my aunt, a retired New York City teacher:

Kids  Are  Quick

TEACHER:   Maria, go to the map and find  North America .
MARIA:     Here it  is.
TEACHER:  Correct.  Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS:      Maria.
____________________________________

TEACHER:  John, why are you doing your math multiplication on  the floor?
JOHN:      You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________

TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell  ‘crocodile?’
GLENN:    K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.
TEACHER:  No, that’s wrong.
GLENN:    Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. 
____________________________________________

TEACHER:  Donald, what is the chemical formula for  water?
DONALD:   H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:  What are you talking about?
DONALD:   Yesterday you said it’s H to O. 
__________________________________

TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE:    Me!
__________________________________________ 

TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN:      Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are. 
_______________________________________

TEACHER:   Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘ I. ‘
MILLIE:     I  is..
TEACHER:   No, Millie… Always say, ‘I  am.’
MILLIE:      All right…  ‘I am  the ninth letter of the alphabet.’  
________________________________

TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down  his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS:      Because George still had the axe in his hand. 
______________________________________ 

TEACHER:   Now,  Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers  before eating?
SIMON:     No sir, I don’t have to, my  Mom is a good cook. 
______________________________

TEACHER:   Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy  his?
CLYDE :     No, sir. It’s the same dog. 
___________________________________

TEACHER:  Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer  interested?
HAROLD:   A teacher.

One of Jennifer Weiner’s favorite jokes:

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit:

“May I see the new baby?’ I asked.

“Not yet,’ she said ‘I’ll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.”

Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, ‘May I see the new baby now?’

‘No, not yet,’ she said.

After another few minutes had elapsed, I asked again, ‘May I see the baby now?’

“No, not yet,’ replied my friend.

Growing very impatient, I asked, ‘Well, when can I see the baby?’

“WHEN HE CRIES!’ she told me.

“WHEN HE CRIES?’ I demanded. ‘Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?’

“BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, O.K.?!!’

Now, what was I doing?, via Not Always Right

Bookstore | Gainesville, FL, USA
Customer: “Hello?”
Me: “Hello ma’am, this is **** Bookstore. I’m calling to let you know the book you ordered has come in.”
Customer: “What? You’re who?”
Me: “This is **** Bookstore. You ordered a book from us and it’s here.”
Customer: “I ordered a book?”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer: “I don’t remember ordering anything.”
Me: “The order sticker says you ordered it last week. The title is Improving Your Memory.”

Thanks to everyone who contributed to Gypsy‘s total of 12 votes in A Novel Menagerie‘s “Beautiful Baby Contest” – she didn’t come in last, and she did receive an honorable mention:

gypsy

Gypsy – Voted “Lady Of Grace & Elegance” Award

This photo was taken while she was drying off in the sun after falling into a creek – so much for grace and elegance! However, she is a Southern Belle and a (sort of) classy dame, and she appreciates the honor!

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  • https://www.blogger.com/profile/08687620527201679249 Ti

    I can certainly see why Gypsy was given the Lady of Grace Award. Anyone that can look that good after falling into a creek deserves it!

  • https://www.blogger.com/profile/09789402061034734894 Florinda

    Ti – It’s hard for me to be objective about my four-legged daughter, but she really is kind of cute :-). She’d dried off a bit when this was taken, though – she wasn’t quite as cute when she was dripping wet.

  • https://www.blogger.com/profile/12328178716595263790 ANovelMenagerie

    This was fun! Thanks for the post!

  • https://www.blogger.com/profile/09789402061034734894 Florinda

    Sheri (ANM) – Thanks for the contest – that was fun, too :-)!

  • https://www.blogger.com/profile/03274518106482632672 Dreamybee

    Congratulations to Gypsy! Ti’s right-I’ve never fallen into a creek, but I’m sure if I had, I would be looking much more frazzled!

  • https://www.blogger.com/profile/09789402061034734894 Florinda

    Dreamybee – The funny thing is that she’s not one of those dogs that likes water, either – but she does like sunbathing, so I guess that helped her mellow out after her little dip.

  • https://www.blogger.com/profile/03044426041937026894 Liyana

    Thanks for the laughs. 😀

  • https://www.blogger.com/profile/09789402061034734894 Florinda

    Liyana – Glad you enjoyed 'em :-)!